President Visits South Carolina To Confirm That Everything, Including The Gas Prices, Is Going Extremely Well

COLUMBIA, S.C.—The president traveled to South Carolina this week to report that the state, the nation, and the era are all going extremely well, a message delivered with the confidence of a man who had not looked at the gas sign on the way in.

The visit credited a familiar list: the largest tax cuts for working families in a generation, the most secure border in history, plunging crime, and a 22 percent decrease in fentanyl deaths. Each was offered as settled fact, in the register reserved for things too good to need a source.

The stop also announced an emergency federal fuel waiver meant to lower gas prices, a detail that sat awkwardly beside the claim that everything was already going extremely well. An emergency waiver implies an emergency. The gas prices it addresses are the highest for an August on record, a consequence of the war the same administration is prosecuting abroad, which makes the waiver a heroic response to a problem the hero is holding.

None of this dimmed the tour, which is not built to be dimmed. The point of the appearance was the appearance: a backdrop, a list, and a crowd assembled to hear that the list is true. The border is the most secure in history until a more secure history is announced. The tax cuts are the largest in a generation until a longer generation is required.

South Carolina was thriving and the nation was winning. Out in the parking lot, the price of having driven there was quietly setting a record.